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Jen
sweetcharade
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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]

Tom has my nuts in a vice. I'm on my last chance at work, if I fuck up one more time I'm fired. I have been trying to curb the attitude, to leave the bullshit at home or at work and not bring what's bothering me in my personal life to work with me. I have to conform, to be even more of a corporate puppet. My managment always hears negative things about me, and I swear the next time I'm with a customer and they tell me I have a great personality or that I'm doing a good job I'm going to say "Please tell my manager that." It seems that the harder I push myself to do my job well and to be good with the customers it blows up in my fucking face. Tom told me today that I am becomming my own downfall. I thought about that, and he's right. The apathy I feel towards my job half the time I'm there will cause me to lose something that I do love. As much as I bitch, I do love working there, music is my passion. Well it's a close second to writing. Essentially his message was "shape up or ship out". If I can successfully conform, will that make me a sell-out? Or does it just show that I'm willing to keep my job and improve my skills? I have too many concerns about conforming, and that will ultimatly be my undoing. Next week I have big plans for myself on my days off. I'm going to head over to 27th & Wells to the Literacy Centre, and enroll for classes to get my diploma. I'm considering doing school full-time and working after I've gotten my diploma, but that is something I'll need to discuss with my mother since she does rely on the money I give her from each paycheck. *sits in a corner and thinks*

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Big n Rich-Saved
Comments

Jen, honey! I know you love working there, I did too. I'm sorry Tom's being such a hard ass...but that's Tom for you. He's trying to help you. The way that I see it...if you can "successfully conform" as you put it it doesn't show that you're selling out...it shows that you want to better yourself. Sam Goody is a good company, and you have a lot of potential. Don't worry so much about being a "sell out" there's a difference in conforming at work and conforming to society. You can still be the Jen I love and be an outstanding employee for Tom. It is hard to keep work and personal seperate, but it can be done. If you feel like something in your personal life is about to interfer with your work...just take a breather...see if someone can cover you for a few minutes or take some time while no one is in the store to go off and straigten the CD's or movies. Just to regain your focus. I love you Jen, and really hope you don't lose your job, because I saw it in your eyes the day you came in for your interview...you really want that job. Just remember to be yourself...you're such a sweet girl, let customers see it and management. Shami knows you and knows how much of a hard worker you are. Just show the rest of them. I know they aren't nearly as cool as Kim was...but you gotta deal. Remember who loves you. *raise hand* I DO!!! *smooches*