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Jen
sweetcharade
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:: Yep. [+3]

March 2011
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Jen [userpic]

I got home from Ihop at 2:30am after helping Jennifer clean and prep for this morning's visit/inspection from corporate, and I had a blast. It felt good to do something useful.
The past eight days have been a little tiring and in many cases extremely frustrating. I had to leave early twice due to the fact that Susan stuck me on first base side and there's never anyone sitting there. I did get to work next to Japhet last night which made me happy. :D Two more days until the end of the season and then the great job hunt begins.
Matt called last night while I was doing last call, and left a voicemail. I laughed when I listened to his message he started out with "Oh my dear sweet fucktoy" and his voice sounded like a kid who had just done something naughty and gotten away with it. I may get to see him tonight, maybe I'll head on down to the Safe House after work. We also sorta made plans for tomorrow. Monday night he called me while I was in the Wall and it's kinda spooky cos he called right as I was grabbing condoms. *laughs*
It came to mind a few days ago that I care way too much about people who don't give a shit about me. Jay's silence is something I've grown used to, yet I'd still fight for him til my last breath is gone. It's a little more complex with Jeff, mostly because he still confuses the hell out of me, acting as though I'm "the one that got away" one day and then mocking all the pain I've held for the last eight months. Jay and Jeff confuse me and hurt me yet I'd do anything for them. What does that say about me?

Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Current Music: Pearl Jam-Alive
Comments
(Anonymous)
Yep.

Jay and Jeff confuse me and hurt me yet I'd do anything for them. What does that say about me?

It says that you're human. Like me. That you have the capacity to love unconditionally and forever. That you truly meant it when you said you loved either one of these guys... and that you are amazing. It truly sucks that you haven't met the right guy to nurture you though. The guy that will appreciate all of you entirely. The one will do anything for you like you would for him... all the while being hot, scandalous, interesting, funny, and devoted completely and only to you (in other words absolutely worthy of dealing with on a daily basis and forever) because then you could use him for all your deviant sexual wishes at your whim. :p

Sigh... boy's simply suck in all the wrong places, until you meet the right one who knows how to suck, nibble, caress, whisper, breathe, and lick in all the right spots and times. Sigh... when its the right time, I'm sure the right guy will venture along your path. There's got to be a bit of hope, or life would be entirely too bleak.

We keep not seeing one another on-line. I love you and miss you sis!!!!

-Asia

Re: Yep.

Boys suck so much that I can't even begin to describe it. I think somewhere between all this with Jeff I lost that thing that makes me want to be in a long term relationship. It's something I'm too afraid of now, I can't give my heart to anyone anymore. I should move to Rhode Island so Meg and I can be cat ladies together. I hate being human, it's too painful. Why wasn't I born a tiger?

(Anonymous)
Re: Yep.

I'm not scared anymore. Which is amazing I think. Joe didn't treat me well, and thank God I found out what an ass he is capable of being. lol I know I'm capable of loving because I still possess the ability to appreciate a guy to the fullest, and if the right one doesn't come along to scoop me up, I'll be entirely satisfied with the right dildo and/or vibrator. LoL I will always be a cat lady, love em. But the only response I can think to make to the tiger comment is, "Do you like Frosted Flakes?" Tony the Tiger, you know?... The "they're grrrrrrrrreeat!" guy?Get it? That's the only tiger reference I can think of and its not at all relevant. Oi... Chalk my entire ditziness off to the fact that it's 1:30 in the morn. I'm going to go take a shower and pass out. Talk to ya later sis.

-The Gal that had an entire continent named after her.

Re: Yep.

*laughs* I love you Asia. Yes Frosted Flakes are grrrrrrrrreat! It took a long time for me to admit it to myself that Jay and Jeff don't care, mostly because I'm too blinded by the love I feel for them, but I can't fight a battle that can't be won. Rofl, you can move to Rhode Island with me, I'm sure Meg won't mind. You'll have to do a lot of shopping to find the right dildo/vibrator, but I'm sure it'll be a better investment than men *winx*