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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]

I need to write. There's so much creative engery, and it's all pent up. Unfortunately for me, I have no words. I hate that. My creative flow is very strong, yet my ability to use it seems....obsolete. GAH

It seems Crocostimpy feels I'm abandoning him and blowing in off in favour of my new shiny relationship with John. He's kind of right, so he and I have plans to get together as soon as we can both work something out. He's not angry with me, he's very understanding, yet I am angry with myself. Jay did the same thing to me, and I hate it when I do something to someone that's been done to me. I loathe the idea of hurting someone I care about, and I try not to do it. Crocostimpy's words hit fairly close to home and made me realise that I haven't seen my friends in two months or more. I never got a chance to see Ken before he went back to Whitewater, I didn't see Tim before he went back to Florida, I haven't seen Nick and the Scotts in god only knows how long. John and I have already talked about me wanting to see my friends, and he's very ok with it. I'm not ok with what I've been doing to my friends.

Carrie invited John and I to her place to have dinner with her. She seems to like him very much, and agrees with Mike and Madi that I've never smiled the way I do when I look at him. Maybe they're right. I do know that it's been a long time since I've felt this way.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Staind-Epiphany