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Jen
sweetcharade
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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]

I dunno. I feel weird. Everything thats been going on is starting to get to me. Everyone's on my ass about getting a job. Matt and I have been fighting.....kinda. My sister's being a bitch. I've been feeling more and more depressed lately. I want to go somewhere, anywhere but here. About five times today, I've just wanted to crawl into a hole and wait. Wait for what I don't know. My life to end, my relationship to get better, my family to stop bitching at me and realise that I am trying, I dunno just anything as long as it makes me feel better than I do right now. I think that I need to be perfect. Flawless. Or maybe to just be the nothing piece of garbage I used to be. I desperately want to hear Drowning Pool, maybe I should borrow the cd from Randy. Hrm...

Thoughts cross my mind,
Hidden in the mist,
Wishing.
Hoping.
Wanting.

Nothing can ease the pain,
This bitter ache in my heart,
Waiting.
Wondering.
Thinking.

I can't control it any more,
These strange feelings,
Darkness.
Death.
Nothing.

My spirit is restless,
My soul shadowed,
Anger.
Fear.
Sadness.

These emotions build,
I can't fight them anymore,
Pain.
Tears.
Empty.

I want to fade,
To fly away,
Floating.
Somwhere.
Anywhere.

I want the sweet embrace,
The ease of this ache,
Peace.
Joy.
Love.

It scares me,
The fading into nothing,
Erased.
Gone.
Lost.

It never ends,
Losing myself in my shadows.
Hopeless.
Sorrow.
Aching.

Take me in your arms,
Only you can save me,
Kiss.
Carress.
Smile.

I want to forget,
Who I am what I was,
Cold.
Lonely.
Desperate.

I cannot save myself,
I will be forgotten,
Nonexistent.
Faded.
Shadowed.

The sweet embrace beckons,
Apologies seem useless,
Goodbye.
Falling.
Landing.

In my state of nothing,
I float,
Weightless.
Free.
Dead.

Current Mood: read the poem
Current Music: Rob Zombie- Living Dead Girl ( the irony hey?)
Comments
(Anonymous)

I'm sorry sis, I wish I could take it all away for you, make it better. The poem is very good, as they always are. *passes some chocolate* Just don't worry about what "they" are saying, nagging you. All you can do is try, and if your trying, than thats enough for now. Just keep plugging along, and it will come together. -Meg-

oooo ta sis ~munches on choccie~ I know i shouldn't let it get to me, but somehow I do. The good news is, I've an interview Friday at 2 for Sam Goody. :o)I'm not sure if the poem is really a poem, just empty thoughts and emotions running in my veins. I thought it turned out great though. I feel happier today, so maybe there's hope ~g~

Hang in there Jen, things will get better. You're a good kid and I know things will get better because you're real smart and you have it in you to make a difference!