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Jen
sweetcharade
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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]

Like last year, Valentine's day was absolutely beautiful. John and I didn't do anything particularly special. We exchanged cards, he found and gave me the SoBe racing t-shirt he was wearing when we first met in August of 2002.  I find that gesture so terribly sweet and touching.  I laughed pretty hard when he gave it to me, especially since I still don't remember that.  It's slightly ironic that he has such a horrible memory and mine is pretty scary, yet he remembers that day vividly. He also baked me a cinnamon swirl cake, which was scrumptious even though he used vegetable oil to grease the pan. Dork.  The t-shirt will come in handy when I have those terribly lonely nights in my own bed.  

This morning I made a lovely breakfast, and made good use of the coffee maker his dad gave him.  While he worked on his Exhalted game, I did some random interwebbing and then dishes. After I had done the dishes he banished me into the bedroom whil he made lunch. Lunch was a tasty Thai stir-fry, with sparkling white grape juice (he bought white cos he remembered I don't like dark grape juice). He also very sweetly sprinkled candy hearts around our place settings, even though he knew I wouldn't eat any of them. The centrepiece was a small candle that smells suspiciously like Curve.   I'm sitting here right now, half chuckling half crying over how sweet and amazing the past year with him has been.

Yesterday we had lunch and coffee with Trent.  Seeing Trent is always wonderful, watching the two of them banter and pick on me is usually fun, but there was a point yesterday where it completely pissed me off.  I'm generally pretty mellow, but when John gets condescending, I either shrug it off or it makes me want to rip his balls off.  I had a pretty bad depressive fit a couple of hours ago, and then I remembered today and instantly cheered up.

I was reading his LJ post from a couple of years ago, where he was debating asking me out and asking his friends for advice, and I couldn't help but marvel at fate.  I was kind of shocked the first time I read that post, even though I had known about his crush on me, I had never known it caused such an internal uproar. At that time, I was still reeling from the break up with English Matt,  was just about to head into my tumultuous relationship with Jeff. Emotionally and mentally I was not in a good place then.  Finally the time came where I was almost ready for a serious relationship. I was completely terrified that he'd hurt me, and to an extent I still am, but as the days go by he continues to amaze me.  He keeps me warm, comforts me when I cry, does damn near anything to make me smile when I feel like shit, hugs me or kisses me when I "look like I need it", he makes me laugh, and most importantly he wants me for me.  I'm still insanely giddy when I'm with him, and will forever be grateful to Dan for bringing him to Ihop and allowing our paths to cross once more.

Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Current Music: 30 Seconds to Mars-Echelon
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