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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]

I've made a very important decision. I'm not drinking again for a very, very long time. Last week Tuesday night I had a night of self-destructive drinking. I drank way more than I should have, and spent the next day sleeping and vomiting. I also ended up pouring my heart out to Jay. I cried for about 2 hours, I went on this rant about how I hate myself, and what I've become. He told me on Thursday that he thought I should seek professional help, because he wasn't qualified to help me and because he doesn't understand half of what goes on in my head. I had to explain to him that I'm not as schizophrenic as he may think, and elaborate on what I said about seeing things and hearing voices. I also had to tell him that while yes I wanted to kill a puppy and other cute things I would never do it. Glenn wouldn't let me do it either, and it was Jeff that suggested I take all my wrath out on a stuffed animal. It was just a very scary thing, I never drink like that and I never get all sobby when I am drunk. Scary scary shit. Vodka=bad ~nod~
I hung out with Scarlet on Friday night, we had coffee and hung out at Node with Emily, Aaron, and Leigh. I had a fucking blast! I've missed them so much, Scarlet said that we definitely need to hang out more often. Here's quotes that my mother emailed me:

"Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is,
> however, a prejudice that many people have been able to
> overcome." --Winston Churchill
> "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart
> people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean
> it." --Mark Twain

"Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any
> moment." --Ira Gassen

Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Radiohead-Airbag
about the quotes....

I have no clue who said what but I found some while web-wandering today.... "My Goddess gave birth to your god" .... " It's your Hell, you burn in it" and this one... " Christianity has Pagan DNA" I was on some Pagan site looking at bumper stickers... okay, so sue me... I stole the sayings off there...but they are rather good...
Puddin'... I hear you about the voices/visions. It doesn't make you schizo... it could be guides sending you messages or trying to impress feelings on you...
Don't slice open a puppy... *sends you a nice lil bat to slice* >weg< Hugggss & snogggss you lots