Log in

No account? Create an account
.: ..:: .. : ::::.::.. ::: . .::. :::: : .:..:.
March 2011
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31

Jen [userpic]
I cannot sleep, cannot dream tonight

I was up for 23 hours yesterday. I didn't want to sleep, was afraid of being plagued by dreams. Dreams of Jeff that wake me and make me lonely. Fell asleep on the couch around 4am, didn't want to sleep in my big empty bed. He's not online, I can only assume that he's still in bed nursing his cold. I haven't talked to him since yesterday, and my heart is aching. I want to call him, but I don't think I should since I'm notorious for waking him up. I just called him, and I didn't wake him up this time. He's pretty out of it still, so he just went back to bed. A quick three minute phone call, just to hear his voice, just to say "hi" and "I love you". Something deep inside me feels hurt, empty. Maybe it's just the pain of not being with him right now. I seem to be taking this departure harder than I took the first one. *sigh*

Current Music: Bowling for Soup-1985