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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]
"Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness I need to calculate what creates my own madness"

I sat out in the rain today and cried. It always makes me feel a little bit better to cry in the rain, that way no one can see that I'm crying. Surprisingly I'm in a good mood right now, I buried a lot of things that came out while I was sitting in the rain. I know it's not healthy to bury things, but that's how I deal with a lot of shit. I talked to my mom today about things I've never talked to her about, and we both agreed that now would be a good time for me to seek professional help. I'm tired of having so much contradiction in my head, and I'm tired of feeling like shit for things that aren't my fault.

I'm going to the fireworks with Jay on Thursday and Sunday nights, we usually go every year but we didn't get to go last year, so I'm looking forward to that. *sits somewhere and thinks*

Current Mood: sadthoughtful, yet sad
Current Music: Papa Roach-Getting Away With Murder