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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]
The greatest penis conversation I will ever have

Jen and Asia Theatre is proud to present: The Penis!
Me: its dumb like boys
Asia: lol
Me: yes
Me: so one of my coworkers has a boyfriend
Asia: ooooo... and?
Me: and i guess im the only one he can talk to about it cos im not exactly a flaming hetero
Me: he was gushing!
Asia: about his new guy?
Me: i shit you not David was gushing
Me: yup
Asia: lol
Me: it was so cute!
Asia: awww.. . i like it when people fall in love..
Asia: we get all mushy and silly..
Me: lol i dont think its love
Asia: lol
Me: more like lust
Asia: lust and fun... and attraction, and interest
Asia: its not just lust
Asia: lol
Me: cept david says his new guy is a bad kisser
Asia: ewww
Asia: i hate those
Asia: lol
Me: i said "shut it you can train him"
Me: yes i do too
Asia: lol!
Asia: yes u can
Asia: but its horrid
Me: but you can train them
Asia: most guys suck at it at first
Me: i know
Asia: why are they so bad?
Asia: lol
Me: sloppy kissers UGH
Asia: i know!
Me: sloppy kissers are the worst
Asia: and they slobber all over you
Asia: ewwwww
Asia: >shivers<
Me: im so glad mario isnt a sloppy kisser
Asia: its just nasty
Asia: and they use too much tongue
Asia: horrid horrid horrid
Me: yuck
Me: and then the cutest thing of all
Asia: one of my friends said a guy sucked her teeth
Me: well you might think its gross
Asia: like slurped em... ewwww
Asia: i know
Me: yucky
Asia: isn't it gross?
Asia: tell me what you were saying
Me: yes
Me: david was complaining that his new boy is uncut
Asia: oh uncircumcised?
Me: he said cut boys are so much better
Me: yeah
Me: and i just laughed and set him straight
Asia: yeah... it looks cleaner
Me: it looks cleaner yes
Asia: what did you tell him?
Me: but i told him to think of the foreskin as mother natures ribbing
Asia: hmm...
Asia: lol
Me: its true though
Me: Matt's uncut
Me: and i loved his penis lol
Asia: it probably is, i can imagine, but i've never felt it
Asia: lol
Me: i know you havent
Me: but for future reference its not all bad
Asia: come to think of it.. the only penis's i've seen have been cut
Asia: well dealt with
Asia: even the babies i've babysat..
Asia: -nods-
Me: well Matt's English :p
Asia: are more english men uncircumcised?
Asia: im so showing my virginality here
Asia: lol
Me: the general consensus is that European men are uncut
Asia: ewww... lol
Me: i havent come across an American man that was uncut
Asia: i just realized we're discussing penis foreskins
Me: rofl
Asia: lmao
Asia: you know what that means
Asia: what?
Me: lj material :p
Asia: i knew it
Asia: lol
Me: course ya did
Asia: if we talk about boxes or foreskins... its going in the lj
Me: *laughs*
Me: box+foreskin=fun
Asia: -giggling-
Asia: whew
Asia: i can't believe you just said that
Me: now shut up so i can copy n paste
Asia: rotfl!!
Me: *laughs* yes you can its me
Me: ill say anything
Asia: i need to become more international dammit
Asia: im so innocent about the male penis
Asia: i need to see some to compare and contrast
Asia: ok.. im done
Me: roflmfao
Asia: lol
Me: youre such a dork :D
Asia: im just being practical
Me: i know
Asia: lmao
Asia: its still cute
Asia: they should have website entitled... "penis comparison shopping"
Me: roflmfao
Asia: that would be so helpful
Asia: lol
Asia: every girl would be like... "yep, see that's a good one"
Asia: oh no... "that's a bad one"
Me: *dies laughing*
Asia: throw that one back girls
Asia: lol
Asia: i like that idea
Asia: i should do it
Asia: lmfao
Asia: but how could i interest males?
Me: yes but you wouldnt know a good penis from a hole in the box :p
Asia: make a banner like... "Put your Penis to the TEST"
Asia: who cares, i could fake it.. lol
Me: *falls out of chair*
Asia: women have done it for years
Asia: lol
Asia: why should i be different?
Me: omfg *crax up*
Asia: oooo... i just thought of catagories
Asia: "color, length, girth"
Asia: "shape... smooth bumpy veiny"..
Me: you make it sound like dildo shopping
Asia: and to the women i could advertise.. "Whatever Your PREFERENCES FOR PENIS we've got em' "
Me: it is like dildo shopping roflmfao
Asia: nah.... it would be strictly for looks
Asia: observation and rating
Asia: -nods-
Asia: i think its a fabulous idea
Asia: i would subscribe
Asia: and i think my friends would too
Asia: lol
Asia: wouldn't u Jen?
Me: oh hell yes
Asia: lmao!!!
Me: :D
Me: just wait til this goes up you'll die
Asia: oh oh! and to interest men i'd say... you can place the nickname your penis on top of the picture
Asia: OH!... and i suppose we'd have to show it in all states.. hmm..
Asia: lol
Asia: im done.. i really need to go back to school
Me: roflmfao
Asia: this is bad
Me: i wonder what Idaho would be
Asia: lmao!!
Asia: i need to quit
Asia: and you should be ashamed for encouraging me
Me: i can see it now "Is everything bigger in Texas?"
Me: roflmfao no i shouldnt
Asia: LMAO!!!!
Asia: oh those are great headlines
Me: hey whats something really small that starts with a c?
Asia: um... centimeter
Me: yes!
Asia: lol
Me: call the website cockorcentimetre?.com
Asia: lmao!!!
Asia: ewwwww.... no
Asia: we'll be practical
Asia: Penis or Puny
Asia: i like it
Me: lol yeah that sounds classier lol
Asia: yes... we want to appeal to a broad range of audiences
Asia: lol
Me: lmfao!
Me: god if we keep talking like this ill be copy and pasting for hours
Asia: lol

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Goo Goo Dolls-Big Machine