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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]
"Reveal this monolith within"

Fuck it you've told me you never read this, and besides you never listen to a goddamn thing I have to say anyway. You just go on your merry way without thinking how your apathy affects me. I hate the way I feel like I don't exist when I'm around you in public. I'm invisble to you, what do I have to do for you to notice me at Node or anywhere else? It's only at home with you that I feel like a person. I hate it when you act like I owe you an apology when I have good reason to be pissed at you. When I'm irrationally pissed, I do apologise. When I'm calm and rational, you don't notice, cos you don't want to notice. I hate the mocking narcissist in you when I tell you time and time again that you've hurt me, that you've let me down. You make promises and break them, at 8pm tonight I knew you weren't going to call me. You just take off, yeah you're a big boy, but you should be able to pick up a fucking phone when something changes, yet you don't. I called you a monolith, the great Altar Stone that my heart's blood spills upon. In your head, you're God. With your God complex you forget that a very fragile human being loves you, yet you act like you don't give a shit. Physical and pyschological masochism thy name is Jen. I'm sure I'll tell you all this tomorrow, and get the same apathetic response. I love you Jay, but sometimes I can't stand you, and I know the reverse is true. Would you miss me if I were gone?

Current Mood: irateirate
Current Music: NIN-The Hand That Feeds