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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]
"And we stare each other down like victims in the grind"

I had a blast yesterday at Bristol. Jay me Sam and Sam's girlfriend Julia went together, and that morning we stopped at Ihop in Pleasant Prairie the waitress asked Julia if she wanted fruit on her crepes, after she left Julia looked around and said "why did she only ask the lesbian if she wanted fruit?" we all cracked up. On the way to get Sam and Julia yesterday morning I told Jay everything that's been hurting me and pissing me off about him over the past few months. Hopefully I got through to him. The day went by pretty quick, we mostly walked around we watched a couple of shows and talked to some of Jay's Ren Faire groupies. I liked Ren and Damien the best. Ren is just beautiful, she has that look of fragile vulnerablity, and Damien is just a tall skinny dork that I could lock in my basement and bring him out to cuddle. Jay let me get one of the pentagram necklaces I'd been wanting since I first set foot on the grounds, at the end of the evening Jay and I fought about him being an inconsiderate bastard (those were his words) and that fight reduced me to tears. He's seen me cry for a thousand reasons but never because of him, and him seeing that killed me. I'm so emotionally detached when it comes to everyone else I know, but only he could bring me to seething consuming rage and a river of tears. When I was calm we talked a little about the people I met, and he said he was proud of me for showing restraint. When either Beth or Sue were in the vicinity I walked away and kept quiet. Anyone who reads this knows I don't like Sue anymore, but I can't pinpoint why I don't like Beth she just gives me bad vibes and it took Jay a long time to understand it. I don't remember what I said about not liking people, but he nodded and understood. All and all it was a great day.

Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Savage Garden-Break Me, Shake Me
Tears of Pearls... by Savage Garden

That particular Savage Garden album is the soundtrack to my middle school years... LOVE it.

I understood how you feel about Jay. Big suprise huh? (rolls her eyes at the absurdity of how much our feelings towards the loves of our lives parallel)

I can repress my emotions about almost anyone, about almost anything. Let it bundle up, and write about it later and feel all kinds of release. But when it comes to Joe, I can't repress a damn thing. It's ridiculous. I release all my feelings on friends.. I cry on the phone to him... I write long-winded messages. If I feel a slight irritation it will definitely be told to someone else, if not to him directly. A huge emotional combo like rage and frustration? Forget it, back away slowly, get out a fire extinguisher, and call the paramedics... It's going to be a big one. Sigh... boys suck.

Re: Tears of Pearls... by Savage Garden

Heh, I think I bought it when I was in high school, and still I listen to it. I can never hear Truly Madly Deeply again. He keeps telling me "I don't love you the way you love me." We've had that conversation already, maybe he's still in love with me, since I don't want to be "The One", I can't interpret it any other way. God I know exactly what you mean. I am so emotionally detatched when it comes to everyone else its scary, but Jay strips me down to my bones leaving me cold naked and vulnerable. Boys suck. *sigh*