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March 2011
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Jen [userpic]
Ladies and gents, get your tix now, Jen and Asia Theatre is headin your way....

Jen and Asia Theatre presents...... Jen gushing about her dirty sluttiness and of course-the penis


Asia: Sis... yum yum.. I just saw Matt
Asia: lol
Jen: dude
Jen: omg
Jen: this is HILARIOUS
Asia: i just got in about an hour ago
Asia: what what?
Jen: http://www.ratemymullet.com/show.php?id=51
Jen: johan has been showing me insanely funny shit
Jen: theres even ratemycock.com
Asia: LMAO
Jen: and no one of those cocks were as good as matt's
Asia: are you kidding?! they stole my idea!!!
Jen: dead serious
Asia: this was Mario Lopez... he was so yum after he got rid of his mullet
Jen: but ours would be good ones
Jen: i know its mario lopez
Jen: but its funny
Asia: lol
Asia: I'm lookin' for a chick as hot as me, like Jess was... she was so wonderful...but those days are over, now all I have is this whiskey bottle and my faded dreams
Jen: *laughs*
Jen: http://www.ratemymullet.com/54
Asia: he's a dork
Jen: i know
Asia: whoever wrote this anyway
Jen: i dunno
Asia: ewwww... i never liked Bud Bundy
Jen: but oh god
Asia: lol
Jen: mullets=funny
Jen: johans gonna google cock mullets *dies*
Asia: lol
Jen: so omg matt is gorgeous
Asia: im too tired to look at penis's
Jen: bah!
Asia: humbug
Asia: lol
Jen: i had one in my mouth earlier
Asia: whoo!!!
Jen: i told him id tell you hes got an amazing cock
Asia: im sure it was much appreciated.. -nods-
Asia: how big?
Jen: its kinda average size but its nice and thick
Jen: its not huge but still.......filling
Asia: sounds good
Jen: and oh god
Jen: the way he tugs my head back.....
Asia: the one i saw looked just perfect, nice shape, nice length.. not sooo huge, but nice, it just looked inviting... -nods-
Jen: ive never enjoyed giving head this much ever
Asia: lol
Jen: dude
Jen: his back
Jen: so tasty
Asia: this boy is making you gush more than I've ever seen you gush
Jen: you have no idea lol
Asia: lol
Asia: i just read your lj.. i have a little bit of one.. :p


Jen: he stumbled backwards
Asia: of course its true, you are bold... -nods- the poor dear didn't know what hit him
Asia: yay!
Jen: and he was whispering dirty talk both times i gave him head :D
Jen: he even said my name tonight!
Jen: lol i told him when we got in the car "i bet youll never have another blowjob like the one i gave you last night"
Asia: i need tips, im going to be calling you on my wedding night
Jen: lol
Asia: "Jen, tell me what to do?"
Jen: lmfao
Jen: "ok asia first you lower your mouth around him"
Jen: lmfao!!!
Asia: rotfl!!!
Asia: i'd be like... "check, check"
Asia: the poor boy...
Jen: *"ouch!"* "asia hun make sure your lips cover your teeth"
Jen: oh god
Asia: LMAO!!!
Asia: it would be hard to balance the phone, a penis, and a man all attached, but i think i could be up for the challenge..-nods-
Jen: "now slide your tongue around him and try and stroke with your tongut"
Jen: that move of course depends on size
Asia: the poor thing... my gosh, my husband's going to pass out
Jen: lol yeah
Asia: ewww... he better not be tiny
Asia: i refuse to deal with that
Jen: rofl
Jen: hun trust me
Asia: lol
Jen: if it can make you cum its fine
Asia: pthhh.... i want it to make me cum continuously for years
Asia: -nods-
Jen: lmao!
Jen: i think its time for jen and asia theatre
Asia: got have more than the motion.. you've got to have the right sized raft
Asia: oh no, not again... lol
Jen: but it takes a long time to get to england in a rowboat
Asia: lmao!!!
Asia: exactly
Asia: i want a yacht dammit
Jen: did you see my horoscope for the 8th?
Asia: a cruise ship would be a bit too much to ask for
Asia: i did
Asia: and i think its on the money.. -nods-
Jen: lmfao! ill get you a cock ring that looks like one of those lifesaver dealies
Jen: so did i
Asia: lmao!.. im frightened
Jen: *giggles*
Jen: im overtired
Asia: im assuming Matt came over after and you had a delightful time...
Asia: go to bed sis
Jen: ratemymullet.com and ratemycock.com had me laughing my ass off
Jen: i met him at work this afternoon
Jen: laughyness
Asia: i went to rate my cock... oh my
Asia: lol
Jen: the funniest and grossest are the low rated ones
Asia: this is good i want to see penis's... i was right when i said Brian's was nice
Jen: lol
Asia: it was the hottest one i'd ever seen
Asia: lmao
Jen: matts is sooooo nice
Asia: ewww... this one looks so weird and tiny
Jen: they look like thick little snakes
Asia: lmao
Jen: lol i know
Asia: whew... this guy's is nice.. but he's hairy EVERYWHERE but there
Asia: its a little disturbing..
Jen: i know i kinda like that though
Asia: his cock's name is "Pretty Eve"
Asia: me too, it looks cleaner
Asia: -passes out laughing-
Asia: one eyed pants viper... ewwwww... so tiny and funny looking
Asia: it looks old and defeated
Jen: roflmfao
Asia: lmao
Asia: oh this one is interesting.... i suppose, the head looks funny though
Asia: it doesn't have a name, and he got a nine
Jen: why do we always end up talking about boxes and penises?
Asia: lol
Asia: i don't know
Jen: me neither
Asia: i think its because its fun
Jen: were hornballs
Asia: yes
Asia: i wonder if there's a ratemyvagina site
Jen: lmfao i think so
Asia: i truly don't believe i'd enter
Asia: lol
Jen: theres rate my cameltoe
Asia: how nice
Jen: i knwo i totally stayed away from that
Asia: proper for dinner conversation
Asia: lol
Asia: im going to tell my friends about this website
Jen: rofl
Asia: -nods-
Asia: whew!.. this guy's is HUGE
Asia: that one is frightening
Asia: really long, like he'd skewer me
Jen: *giggles* there was one so bad it made me literally retch
Asia: ewwwww....
Jen: no shush for a minute so i can copy and paste
Asia: okay


Asia: okay
Asia: wow there's so many different shapes and sizes.... im in absolute awe
Jen: i know dont penises rule?
Asia: its like going to a mall for the first time
Asia: im stunned
Jen: lmfao
Asia: big ones, small ones, thick ones, skinny ones..
Jen: its like fleshy dildo shopping
Asia: this guy's is really tiny
Jen: i know!
Asia: im enjoying myself..
Jen: its the funniest thing ive seen tonight
Asia: no one said they were so random and different, why don't women discuss penis's and take pictures of them more?
Jen: oh honey we know
Asia: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... this one is so ugly
Jen: virgins have to learn the hard way
Asia: all veiny and wrinkled
Asia: ewwww
Asia: and he's only 19
Asia: sad really
Jen: i know isnt that sick?
Asia: doesn't look like that pecker is going to last very long
Asia: i can tell he's going to need viagra
Asia: i feel sorry for it
Asia: -nods-
Asia: that's so weird that guys hide those things in their pants
Jen: roflmfao
Jen: i know
Asia: this big old long dangly thing that gets all stony
Asia: how strange is that?
Jen: matt told me he had to adjust in the middle of the skywalk!
Jen: just from my text
Asia: the poor dear.. we have to adjust our breasts, but truly its nothing like this madness
Jen: thats so fuckin awesome
Asia: lmao!
Asia: how do they adjust a hard-on?
Asia: it boggles the mind really
Asia: do they simply shift it to the side?
Asia: gently nudge it?
Jen: i think so yeah
Asia: i need details
Jen: move the pants and boxers around
Jen: i dunno ask joe
Jen: or ken
Asia: im going to start calling joe and whispering all kinds of sensual tidbits
Asia: lmao
Jen: yer gonna be quoting me
Asia: nah
Asia: i'll figure out something imaginative
Jen: lol btu i do have good lines
Jen: but*
Asia: u do
Asia: u do u do
Asia: im going to whisper and be like... mmm... i was thinking of you today.. in the shower.. and go on from there
Asia: yay!
Asia: im going to be a tawdry skank
Asia: YAY!
Jen: rofl matt said that to me yesterday
Asia: its not the same, cause he can imagine the water dripping from my gleaming bosom
Asia: -nods-
Jen: true
Asia: i have the smallest ugliest little penis sitting in my face named leo and im discussing seducing my ex-bf
Asia: how sad is this picture?
Asia: lmao
Jen: *holds my sides*
Asia: this guy's looks like a column on the roman colusium... and it has a lovely color fading pattern
Asia: if i didn't know any better i'd fashion it into a vase
Asia: its lovely
Jen: i didnt think they could come multicoloured
Jen: yeah but would you fuck it?
Asia: lmao
Asia: of course... but he'd have to swirl his hips well
Asia: its name is saltypickle..
Asia: that frightens me a bit
Asia: i'd have to name the children... -nods-
Jen: rofl
Asia: from the coluseum to a tilt-o-whirl
Asia: im horrible
Jen: roflmfao
Jen: god just wait
Asia: im going to die when i see what you post

Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
Current Music: Big n Rich-Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy

One of you should have brought up the topic of an LJ cut...

I don't know how to do that, and as long as it gets up here thats all that matters :p